Not so good today

What i dont understand is myself… plain and simple. i thought i knew who i was and where i was going. Then i graduated high school and reality hit me square in the face. I got a job which i love but ya know is that what i really want to do for the next two years? I can not make any major decisions because i am afraid of the consequences. how great am i? i am afraid to take chances and i am afraid i will turn out like my parents hateful toward each other and never really happy… just constant contention…and they dont even live with each other! which is an amazing decision on their part. I just wish that i didnt hate this certain person at my work place… he makes it hard for me to be myself when he is around. I just wish religion didnt always get in the way. but i let it because it is my life…. but no one understands why. I WILL TELL YOU NOW! it is the only thing that has not changed in my life. it is the only thing that has brought me constant happiness when my world has been falling apart that is what this person at work didnt understand about me and never made the effort to find out why i was guarded and the way i am. i just wish he and everyone else would understand that.

Darrell Gardner passed away on memorial day. He was pulling trees and one fell on the cab of the backhoe he was in. he was killed instantly. He was an amazing teacher and person. He helped me reach my goals.

Basically many things have changed in my life since the last time i posted. I no longer live with athena. I no longer own any animals.

I no longer live with my mom or nicole. I moved to live with my grandma Dixie. I have applied for college. (yeah scary i know) I am now accepted to all four colleges that i applied for.

I applied for SUU... USU... Snow... CEU. I now maintain a 4.0 GPA. My sister Candice had a baby boy. I finally faced the fact that my grandpa Smith is in heaven and i wont be able to talk to him for a while. I have officially completed my Personal Proggress and recieved a medalion (it is kind of like an Eagle Scout For boys).

I saw a mouse yesterday in the fruit room and freaked out. I broke my phone twice. And i miss nicole's face horribly.