ugh

It is funny isn’t it?  The way things work out? This week has been a rough week for me and for others around me and i don’t even know why. Today i just miss everything about last year. It has been a year since i moved in with my grammy and i now live in price. Oh i miss her so much it hurts sometimes, because she has always been there. Lately i hate being alone, i hate driving to school alone, going to work alone, studying alone, just being alone. I know i am a poor sap but hey what can you do? I am so stinking confused in every aspect of my life that at times i dont know if i can handle it. I dont know what i want my major to be, i dont know if i want this same job even though i love it. I am confused on the guy front but i am not even going to get into that. I dont go to church regularly though i desperatley want to more than i will ever understand. I wish i knew what my life was going to be like in a year with all these choices i am making now. I have research paper due in two days a huge test in four, i have to work and deal with the fact that i cant bring myself to go to the meat department without the sudden urge to cry or throw a steak. It just sucks sometimes. my life. even though i am so blessed and i cant even acknowledge it. that those around me and the lord above obviously see something that i have been missing for years.